I wanted to start this off with a disclaimer: this post is not for me to talk about how great it is to meet so many new guys while unattached. While it is great to have the freedom to talk casually to whomever I see fit, being single for me has nothing to do with the pursuit of new love interests. It has everything to do with ending my previous relationship to better myself, and to put myself in the happiest place I could manage, since where I was just wasn't benefiting me anymore.
Deciding to end a long-term relationship was hardly an easy task. In fact, I would say that it was something I sat on for too long a time. I think that part of my hesitation came from a stubborn desire to make the decision for myself and by myself, and to not let anyone else's opinion sway me in one direction or the other.
I had never really considered myself "Relationship Girl" in that I've never felt that I need a boyfriend to feel complete. That being said, I can't really remember a time when I wasn't at least searching for a relationship. So I entered college a single girl, and within a few short months I somehow found myself in a new relationship.
It was a good run, but I had a realization this past fall; by spending time in a relationship that wasn't causing me complete happiness, I was doing myself a huge disservice. All things considered, I don't regret the relationship I was in, as that would be a foolish way to live. The almost-two years we spent together weren't all bad, but I shouldn't have to put up with "not all bad" when I still have so much time to find something great. Now that I'm not in a relationship, I've been able to figure out who I am on my own, and I totally dig the stronger sense of independence I've gained.
When I'm at school, it's safe to say that my middle name could easily be Busy. Abigail "Busy" Pieger. My college life is such a happy, high-speed, chaotic mess, with little time for a friend-filled social life, that finding the proper time for a love life was becoming a task and a half. Relationships are time-consuming, and they require a lot of effort; a relationship isn't healthy unless enough time is put into it. A relationship is kind of like a plant: it needs sunlight, water, and a whole lot of love. Okay, so a relationship isn't really much like a plant, but it sounded comparable.
On my part, I was struggling to find the time to really put enough effort into all that a relationship requires. Now that I've been single for roughly six months, I can't even imagine trying to balance a guy with a two jobs, an internship, a club, and classes! If there were an extra day of the week then maybe I would consider, but right now I'm working hard to find enough time for self-care in my average, 7-day week.
It's also really important to realize that you do not need to find your forever in college. I repeat: you do not need to find your forever in college. It is okay to be single in your twenties! You do not need to have everything figured out by the time you graduate, regardless of what everyone tells you. If you do, you're one of the lucky ones, and if you have a relationship, a place to live, and a great job, then power to ya! You are the exception, and I'm sure people envy you. But to the average soon-to-be college graduate, I'd focus more on finding a job and a roommate than on finding a man. I'm just saying.
Now, college for me is about finding my bridesmaids, not about finding a groom. I'm not saying that being in a relationship held me back from greater experiences, but I am finally given an opportunity to figure out who I am during the remainder of my time in college. At this point, I only have a year left of school, and I don't plan on wasting it preoccupied picking petals and wondering if a guy likes me or likes me not. We have so much time to grow up, but our time without ties is limited, so I plan on enjoying what it means to me to be single in college; working my tail off and laughing every bit of the way.
Abby
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